I Mean . . .

I mean, what is it with the phrase, “I mean?” I mean, you hear this thing everywhere these days, at work, in social settings, at the store, even on public radio. I mean, its buggy. I first noticed this phenomenon a few weeks ago at work. It’s hard to believe, but it was me that I caught saying it - and I mean A LOT! I mean, I was spouting these two words off at the beginning of every sentence I started. At first I only noticed once in a while, but after a few minutes of conversation, I was fully freaking out at my latest quirky habit. I couldn’t believe my ears.

Here’s how the conversation went. My coworker said something like, “What did you think of Jim’s proposal in the meeting today?”

And my response was something like, “I mean, it was okay. I mean, you can tell he did his homework on it.”

Even before I finished the sentence, I’m thinking to myself, “did I just say, ‘I mean,’ two times in a row? That was weird. I wonder how long I’ve been doing that. I hope no one else has noticed.”

To my comments about Jim’s proposal, my friend came back with, “Do you think the rest of the team will go for it?”

My reply, “I mean, if they do go for it, it will take a while before we see any benefit.”

“There’s that phrase again,” I said to myself. “‘I mean?’ What’s going on with that?”

My friend, not knowing I’m having a full conversation with myself, jumps in with, “you’re right about that. How many months do you think it would take?”

My reply, you guessed it, “I mean, maybe six or eight.”

What exactly did I mean by, “I mean?” I mean, the phrase, “I mean” doesn’t have anything to do with anything going on here, so I’m pretty sure I don’t need to say, “I mean,” yet, because, I haven’t said anything that needs to be clarified.

Finally I just told my friend I couldn’t talk about it anymore because I was too stressed out.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying!” I shouted back. “I mean, listen to me!”

After a few seconds of silence, he slipped quietly out of my office and hasn’t tried talking to me much since then.

At first I thought it was just a filler word or a nervous habit, like one possessed by a good friend of mine, who says, “you know,” quite a bit. The larger the group, the more times you hear this phrase wedged in this way and that. Once, in a room full of people, I clocked him at twenty-three “you knows” a minute. And, I mean, you know, I’m telling you, he can stick, you know, this phrase in, you know, anywhere.

But it seems the phrase, “I mean” is a little different than other filler words or phrases that only a few people use. I mean, once I finally discovered this little quirk in myself, I started to hear it everywhere. And it wasn’t just simple folks like me sticking this thing out there everywhere it wasn’t supposed to be; even smart people were saying it. I heard it in important work meetings, from the pulpit at church, from sports stars, and even (dare I say?) from the news anchorman on TV. What is this world coming to?

I mean, maybe this is something special. Maybe this phrase, “I mean,” is the mother of all filler phrases. I mean, maybe this one has replaced all the old ones from that past. Think about it, you know, you don’t hear that word, “um,” much anymore.

When I was a kid, it was very popular to say, “Um” all the time. I mean, you would hear this word five, ten, maybe twenty times during a speech at school. Maybe “I mean” is the new equivalent of “um.” All of us kids grew up being chastised by teachers and parents for saying, “um.” So we dropped the nasty, dumb word and picked up something much more intelligent-sounding. Maybe “I mean” is just the smart way, the grown up way of, um, well, you know, not saying, “Um.”

Obviously, “I mean” beats “um” any day of the week; it’s smart, it’s bold, it’s assertive and, well, I’m starting to like it. I mean, maybe this is a good filler phrase after all.

So there you go. I mean, if you must pick one, you know, choose wisely. As I see it, you have three main choices: the very dated, and not so, you know, bright, “um,” or the more down to earth, humble and gracious, “you know,” or the brash, in your face, “I mean.” Uh, I mean, if you’re going to stick something weird in there, then at least, you know, do it right.

How about you? I mean, what kinds of quirks are you tuned into?

Clark